What was in your plan for 2024? Dance lessons, learning a language, joining a group or club? Are you in the camp of deciding and then just going for it, or are you in the camp of deciding and then talking yourself out of it?
We all know lots of people in the first camp, brilliant for them! If you’re in the second camp, then safe to say you’re not alone – I’m often in there too. I’ve been on a journey with this and when it doesn’t come naturally, I’ve learned to challenge myself to do things differently.
There was a sports team once that I really wanted to try out for. I knew when and where the trials were taking place, but I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough. It was the word ‘trials’ that stopped me. I was in my late teens. This was a pass/fail situation, and my confidence levels weren’t up to it. All I could think of was the shame and embarrassment that would hang over me if I didn’t succeed. I’ll never know whether I would have made the cut. How frustrating!
I keep that experience in mind because I never want to feel like that again. Delving back into that horrible awkwardness now, gives me a bit of a push. Lived experience has taught me that I’m really missing out by not trying new things, and that over-thinking them isn’t the best way. The benefits come not just in terms of physical and mental health, but also in meeting new people and the feeling of connection.
Getting out there often springboards you into unexpected experiences and opportunities. Years later when I played for a local netball team I made great friends, had some crazy weekends away, and so many fun nights out. Being a part of this team got me into snowboarding. On one night out with these girls, I even met my future husband. These are significantly different outcomes from staying at home and being too embarrassed to try something!
These are the two comparison stories I use as a reminder (when needed) to switch mindset from thinking mode, into doing mode. I used it last year on holiday to give stand-up paddle-boarding a go. I decided one afternoon and turned up to do it the next day. I managed to stand but fell off several times. I was a bit bruised the next day, but very happy that I challenged myself and did it!
I canvassed a few others to check the stories going through their heads when contemplating trying something new. I’m calling them the “probably distractions”:
- There’s probably nowhere local that teaches or hosts the thing that I’m interested in
- The classes or sessions are probably full
- Everyone will already know each other so it will probably be a bit cliquey
- I have no idea what I’m doing so will probably look a bit silly
- I probably don’t have the right gear
- I’m embarrassed to show certain parts of my body in public
- Everyone else will probably be thinner than me
- I don’t have time; it probably won’t fit in with my schedule
- I’m probably not fit enough to even start
- Everyone else will probably be better than me so I’ll just end up at the back or get singled out
- There probably won’t be anywhere to park.
Does any of this sound familiar?! If they do, then can I offer you a mantra for 2024 so that you don’t get hung up or unnecessarily pre-embarrassed about these “probably distractions”.
“If you don’t go, you’ll never know!”
If you really want to do something, then don’t let negative self-talk stop you. Focus instead on the potential benefits and positives. Find out some facts and offer yourself an alternative view:
- Research what is available in your local area
- People are more likely to be busy concentrating on what they are doing than judging what you are up to
- The instructor is there to help you, not single you out
- Read the online reviews – they might give you answers about parking, class size, and other nuggets of info
- If it’s the large commercial setting or group putting you off, there are plenty of smaller options.
- Seek out a one-to-one session if you’re still a bit uncomfortable
- Chat with the instructor about anything you’re unsure of. They’ll tell you about the class and required fitness levels, what to wear, pricing, whether there is a taster/intro class option to see if it’s all a good fit for you.
Right, I’m off to the gym. Hopefully this convinces you that you’re not alone and prompts you into some 2024 action!
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